Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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