How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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