No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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