haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
