Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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