ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I would ride that face into the sunset
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
