My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
nutella sex= disaster
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
