Taylor Swift is so right about you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
