so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
