I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
