Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
