i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
