It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
