Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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