is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
