Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
