He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
