Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
