Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
