doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
