How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
