Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
only if we run a train.
done.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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