my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
