Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
