so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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