I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
