Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
