can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
