I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
