Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
