I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
