i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
