that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
