so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
