be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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