When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
