If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
