so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
