i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
