I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
