You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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