I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
