What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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