on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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