i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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