i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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