The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
