Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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