I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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