Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
