i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Terrible idea I love it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
