My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
