the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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