i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
