I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
